


Living On A Maybe

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Character Swap, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Brief Mention Of Survivor’s Guilt on Rey’s Part, Devoted Kylo Ren, Dream Sex, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Sex (Star Wars), Hopeful Ending, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Related, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Past Character Death, Scavenger Poe Dameron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:34:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23566915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Scavenger Poe and Kylo, after Crait.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren
Kudos: 16
Collections: Trope Bingo: Round Fourteen





	Living On A Maybe

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Role Reversal
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Had to take some liberties with TROS canon considering the nature of this plot.

When Poe sees Kylo again weeks after Poe closed the Falcon door on him, he’s lingering in the doorway of Poe’s room almost like he never left. It’s something that gives Poe a sort of chill — and yet a sort of excitement, a sort of hope.   
  
“I guess it’s too much to ask that you’ve changed your mind?” Poe says.   
  
"I’m not sorry,” Kylo said. “I did the right thing. I would have given you the galaxy, if you let me.”  
  
Somehow, Poe thinks, he can tell that Kylo’s falling apart. Like he’s trying to keep himself strong and failing.   
  
“I want to save the galaxy,” Poe argues. “Not rule it.”  
  
“So you say.” Kylo’s still standing there. Poe wonders, almost foolishly, if Kylo can sit on anything considering he can’t see any of Poe’s surroundings. “There was a moment, just a moment, where you wanted to take my hand. Why didn’t you?”  
  
Poe pauses. Somehow, he can’t think of the answer to that. Maybe he doesn’t want to tell Kylo the truth. That when he pictured taking Kylo’s hand, he pictured it being Ben’s hand instead.   
  
Ben’s hand.  
  
“Maybe I’d be more inclined if it was Ben’s hand,” he says.   
  
Kylo goes rigid. “That name,” he says, “Is...irrelevant.”  
  
“It was the name of a boy I was friends with. Before...what happened. Ben. Don’t you think you’ve sabotaged yourself enough?”  
  
Kylo doesn’t seem to know what to say even as the connection fades. Maybe Poe’s slightly won this round. Slightly. It definitely doesn’t feel satisfying.   
  
***  
  
“The connection’s still active?”  
  
That’s what Rey Solo says to him when they’re eating breakfast in the Millennium Falcon’s hold.   
  
Poe nods. “I wish I knew how. Snoke said,” and here, he’s grateful that Finn, Rose and everyone else are occupied, “That he bridged our minds. But he could have been lying.”  
  
“He could have been,” Rey says. “He’s quite the lying snake.”  
  
Poe smirks, at least a little. Lying snake; that’s one way to describe Snoke.   
  
Rey’s gentle even as she speaks. “Poe,” she says, “You haven’t really been yourself lately. Is everything okay?”  
  
Poe pauses. Then, “Yeah. Fine.”  
  
He knows that Rey’s feeling some residual guilt about going against her mother and Aunt Amilyn. He can remember Rey confiding in him and Finn one night. _“It’s my fault. I should have trusted her.”_ Of course, Finn and Poe had to tell her that no, Amilyn Holdo made her choice to sacrifice herself, just like Paige did.   
  
“You and Finn tried to help me,” Rey says softly. “Let me help you.”  
  
Poe doesn’t know if he can quite describe it.   
  
***  
  
“You know, I’m sure Rey misses you.”  
  
Poe sits on the edge of his bed in his room, looking at the image of Kylo — someone who’s there, but not quite there all at once.   
  
“I’m sure she does.”  
  
“You didn’t have to torture her,” Poe says.   
  
"It gave me no pleasure,” Kylo says. “Or, for that matter, doing that to you.”  
  
“You did it to get the map to your uncle and even that didn’t give you closure.”  
  
Kylo goes rigid. It seems even he can’t deny that.   
  
“He cheated,” Kylo says. He sounds a bit petulant. Probably because he is.   
  
“He still beat you.”  
  
Kylo’s woundedness is all but roiling through the Force.   
  
“You could let go of your hate,” Poe says. “Come with me. Come home.”  
  
  
***  
  
When Poe sees Kylo again, Kylo looks exhausted, weary. Even as Kylo speaks, about how things are going in the First Order, Poe knows he doesn’t owe Kylo a thing. And yet, he listens. It’s that old Poe Dameron compassion coming through, something that Snoke said would destroy him.   
  
Poe can live with being destroyed.   
  
Kylo takes a deep breath when he finishes his rant. It seems, almost, like he’s trying to come to grips with his next statement. “People in the First Order think they know who I am. What I want. They think they know the man who runs the First Order. They don’t. They presume, but they don’t.”  
  
And Poe can sense something more disturbing than just a feeling of being misunderstood. He’s lonely, Poe realizes. Afraid to leave. Just like Kylo sensed in him...what, months ago?  
  
“Because they want you to fit into their box,” Poe says, “Of what they want you to be. Because they see an idea, not a person. They want a ruthless killing machine, not...you.” A beat. “When you said on the Supremacy that you loved me...there was a moment, just a moment, when I wanted to say it back.”  
  
“Do you still?” Kylo said. “Either Ben Solo or Kylo Ren?”  
  
Poe swallows. “Beyond hope.”  
  
Kylo kisses him then. He kisses Poe like he’s air, and Kylo’s struggling not to drown. Poe finds, even as Kylo threads fingers through his hair, that he feels like he’s falling apart and yet, all at once, being put back together. He’s not kissing a monster. He’s kissing someone who is Ben and Kylo, one and the same, and this man loves him.   
  
Kylo breaks the kiss just then, his breathing coming in shallow. “I think I wanted to do that for quite some time. Since I found you again.”  
  
The kiss of a projection across a Force Bond, Poe thinks, is warmer and sweeter than it has any right to be.   
  
***  
  
And when they do make love for the first time, the touch of Kylo’s hands on Poe’s skin, his mouth leaving marks where it will, also is warmer, sweeter than it has any right to be. Poe does what he can to reciprocate, in the construct they’ve made for themselves in a dream — Poe supposes it’s fitting that they’re making love in the forest on Takodana, where it all began again. Going back to the start.  
  
“You are beautiful,” Kylo murmurs. "The most beautiful man in the galaxy.”  
  
Poe doesn’t know if it’s the case, but he certainly feels it when Kylo looks at him like that. When he stimulates his nipples with his mouth and fingers just right. When he jerks them both off; Poe’s never considered if dream sex includes lube or anything like that, but this will do soon enough.   
  
Poe’s aware that Kylo’s murmuring something. The sweetest, gentlest things that can come out of the Knight’s mouth, all things considered. Praise for Poe, exultations...and even though their place in the war is uncertain, Poe is certain that there is nothing that makes him feel safer than being loved by Kylo.   
  
Kylo strokes. After what seems like deliciously, agonizingly long, to the point Poe’s tempted to beg for release, his legs start to tremble, and when he comes...well, it’s explosive, gorgeous, wonderful. The same as when Kylo comes.   
  
They remain that way for a while, breathing heavily. Then Kylo speaks. “I’ll have to leave you. But I will come back, angel.” Poe finds he likes that nickname. “I promise.”  
  
“I know.” And Poe knows, in that moment, he can live with that. Live his life on a “maybe”, if possible. For Kylo, he will.


End file.
